Knowledge and Fear

Sometimes, I wish I wasn't a nurse. Oh, don't get me wrong, I love patient care and am a nurse at heart. It's when it comes to me. I tend to scare myself to death. I am not always the bright and chipper person people see. Right now, it's late. I have a fever of 102.2 F. My left leg has the healing wound. Ok, that looks fine. It's above the wound area. My knee is swollen. Hurts like bloody hell, is reddened. And the redness is spreading. No, I won't go to the ER now. They tend to assume its the wound. No drainage, no s/sx of infection, nice granulation tissue. BUT given how the medical system is right now...(God help us all when HSR and YNHH merge). I am waiting until morning to see my doctor who is wonderful and knows me. I know its probably cellulitis (had cipro on hand and took some) but at the back of my mind is how the NF started 11 years ago and what the symptoms of a blood clot are. Rationally, I know that I have good pulses and color, there is no NF striping but I am still making myself nuts because of the pain, redness and fever. Yep, nurses make the worst patients, I admit that. But the Gods help me, its still only two weeks into July, and I am not certain who is worse, the hospitalists or the new residents! So I am asking you please to send healing  vibes, and positive energy my way. Light a candle for Isis or Quan Yin or to the deity of your choice.  I am a survivor but at this moment, I am just plain scared and need all the help I can get.

Bright Blessings!
Mon